Now, this might come as a surprise.
At the risk of romanticizing the entire concept of love, I firmly believe that unless you’ve gone through a heartbreak, you’ve not lived a full life. Whether it’s a short one, a prolonged one, or one that leads to a reunion, nothing teaches you more about life than a heartbreak.
Sure, I love prefect love stories where a couple meets, falls in love, and gets married. But that’s way too easy. Life isn’t always that rosy, at least not for the most of us. And I do believe that nothing spells personal growth better than a heartbreak.
No, don’t blame the other person (or yourself) for what went wrong. Don’t kick yourself for having your trust broken, There is something in having your trust broken that leads to a stronger you. Forgive them for what they did. Let that grudge go. ‘Coz believe it or not. They made you stronger.
Hear me out.
The suddenness of finding yourself without an emotional anchor – that feeling of loss, despair, and even gloom, if I might use the word, all works in your favour. Believe it or not, they do more good than bad. With a jolt, a heartbreak pushes you out of your comfort zone. And forces you to pick up the pieces, ‘coz life, as we all learn, must go on. In its very own way, the experience teaches you your own value. The fact that there is suddenly no one to lean on – forces you to stand on your own feet and in the process, you realize just how strong you are.
And most importantly? It helps you discover yourself. You find new ways of keeping yourself busy. And who knows? In the process, you might just end up discovering your hidden passion(s). Be it painting, photography, or learning a foreign language.
And not just that. You also realize who your true friends are. They are the ones who bring you up, in whatever way they can.
Slowly, the pain subsides, and you realize that like most other things, this too won’t last forever. In more ways than one, you realize your own worth. That you needn’t settle for just about anyone. That being single may actually be the best thing that happened to you. You find that you are complete, as a person. If you did do all the right things, happy, busy, and emotionally independent is how you’d find yourself at the end of the tunnel.
And when dawn finally arrives, it makes you appreciate light in a way you never would have done. In a cruelly twisted way, a heartbreak teaches you the value of another person. The realization that the ease and comfort of an equation should not be taken for granted. That it’s not always so easy to find something like this. So that the next time you find someone you like, you value them more. You pick your battles and let go of the little things, because this time, you take nothing for granted.
And slowly, as you stick all the tiny pieces together to make a whole, you begin to appreciate the beauty of a cracked heart. It’s not only less fragile, but also more vulnerable. ‘Coz once again, sooner or later, you will put that trust in someone else. But this time, you’ll know how to deal with it. But before that? Know your own value.
“Show me a girl who is sorted, successful and truly happy with or without a guy, and I’ll show you someone who came out the right way after a heartbreak”
The best gift you can give to your 20-something self? Be single for a while. Make yourself less available. Be a bit more busy. A bit less dependent. A lot more in love with yourself.
You’re special. In your unique quirky way. And you don’t need a partner to tell you that.
Go take that Mexican cooking class. Take that girls trip to the Caribbean. Try your hand at pottery. Talk to that random stranger on the tube home. Write that novel. Jump off that cliff. Get that tattoo. Learn to play the guitar. Laugh. Sing. Do your thing.
If you have had your heart broken, you’ll know exactly what I mean.
And if you haven’t? Go get that thing broken into a million little pieces, now!
Thank you to all the guys who broke our hearts. I mean it.