5 beauty trends I never got

I’m sure all of you have come across these trends at some point or the other. Hate it or love them, but you definitely can’t miss them.

As for me, they make me question everything in life. Scroll down to see a list of 5 trends I never got.


Nail Art

Now, I have teeny tiny hands. And even tinier nails. I barely manage to get any nail paint on them at all. And I absolutely fail to wrap my head around the fact that people draw complete designs on them. And there are all kinds of trends out there – talon nails, 3D art, stilleto nails, scorpio nails, blah blah. How??

And it’s not just that. Even if did I had bigger nails, the idea never appealed to me. For one, I somehow never ever get my nail paint to last for any significant period of time. To put so much effort into something so tiny and ephemeral? Not. Happening.

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Courtesy: Pinterest

I knew someone who happened to match her clothes to nail paint – every single day.
The big question is – who has the freakin’ time? Imagine putting multiple layers of paint with painstaking precision. And then put stones/crystals on it with a teeny pair of tweezers. Or use decals and stencils to draw tiny shapes. And then waiting for it to dry without accidentally smudging it (another thing I can’t do). And then realising the yellow floral print doesn’t go with that formal shirt you have to wear to work the next day! Hah!

Although, here’s a confession – I do find it fascinating to watch some of the videos out there. But that’s only ‘coz it’s art. And it’s creative. And ‘coz sometimes I’m jobless. And procrastinating on doing serious shit. And have too much data allowance on my phone.

And while I’m on the topic, I just found out there’s a new trend out there called “furry” nails, which involves putting faux fur on nails. Ugh!

And oh, did you happen to check out the tag #malepolish yet?  


Neon lips

Picture Aishwarya at this year’s Cannes Film festival. I have one word for it – Ewwww.
Why would anyone want to put others through this sight?
If you were to ask me, purple, yellow, green and orange look best in rainbows. Or candy stores. Or crayon boxes. And definitely nowhere near my face.

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They. Just. Don’t. Look. Good.
Unless you getting featured in a Nicki Minaj video.

And don’t even get me started on black lipstick. Unless you like the next beauty trend below. Which makes you, well, weird.


Pierced lips/tongue

I have my ears pierced. And that’s about the only metal I can dream of having on my face. Or anywhere else, to be honest. Unless you belong to one of those grunge-inspired-heavily-tattooed-black-dressing-only punk bands of the 80’s, I don’t see why you would think a tiny piece of cold metal would be a good thing to have in your mouth while speaking/chewing/kissing/anything for that matter.

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Courtesy: painfulpleasures.com

Regrown eyebrows

This one cracks me up. For those of you who didn’t know, there is an upcoming trend in the western world, which apparently involves getting painful surgery to regrow your eyebrows. Yes. You read that right. After spending tonnes of money and years on painful tweezing, threading and waxing your eyebrows into unnaturally thin lines – people now want to spend their money on growing them back. Apparently, the natural look is back. I, for one, never got the brouhaha about thinly shaped eyebrows. Seeing Aishwarya Rai/Shabana Azmi’s perpetually surprised look on TV definitely didn’t help. And now, after all the drama, thick seems to be back!
One minute of silence for all those who took to botox to get that unnatural look in the first place.

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And oh, I’m assuming you’ve already heard of the batshit crazy trend called Instagram eyebrows? No? Google it. Right now.


Fuller lips

The bee-stung look never did it for me. Yeah yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But the fact remains, most of us do NOT look anywhere close to Angelina Jolie.
So ya, I don’t get it.

I mean, it’s probably cool to make them look a wee bit pouty. But the overlined look only looks good when you pucker your lips a little. Which you can’t. ‘Coz you live in a normal world. Imagine sitting at work with your lips slightly parted in a mildly seductive way (which by the way is the only way to rock this look), and being taken seriously for what you do.

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Plus, the Kardashians live for the cameras. They actually make their money by pulling off trends like these. You and me don’t. Unless of course, your day job involves taking selfies with a puckered, slightly parted pair of lips in a perfectly lit setting – in which case this makes perfect sense.
What? That’s not what you get paid to do? I thought so. Well then.

Did I mention that I barely manage to keep my lip color on for more than a few hours without getting my lipstick settled in the cracks? 


And here’s an extra one for the men.

The man-bun

Whatever happened to good ole’ fashioned short hair? I don’t think it looks good on anyone. Not even Brad Pitt or Bradley Cooper. Actually, I can only know of one man who can rock the man-bun without making me cringe. No. It’s not Shahid Kapoor (I can never get over his clean shaven look in Jab We Met). It’s Kit Harrington. And even him, I’d prefer without it. So there you go.

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What do you think of these beauty trends? Do you like any of them?
I’d love to know!

 

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